The Changing Times

I just did a quick skim of my last blog. WOW! A month's time sure can change a girl's attitude.

Update:

I started just under 2 weeks ago with my final weight LOSS journey. I emphasize LOSS, because I rather maintain to be honest. Not only do I feel good about my choices, I feel good about where I am and where I'm headed.

The sample meds worked out so well, that I asked Doc for a full prescription. What a shock when I found out it costs $198.06 per month. All I could do is laugh. I know that these meds are working and I have to stick with what works. It's not like we haven't had to cut back before.

Anyway, as of Saturday morning, I was down 3.6 pounds in the first week or so. (I started this mid-week instead of on my normal Saturday weigh-in day.) YAY! I'm up 2 pounds because of a wonderful night of eating and drinking I had with good friends, but hey. I only live once.

I'm ok with those 2 pounds. I know that this will not be the norm. I know that I'm not going back to the 1*0's EVER!!! I'm scared to tell you the real weight.

Here's what I know. I know that I feel good. I know that I can do this. I know that I have to learn to do this ON MY OWN. The reality is, I don't know how much longer Weight Watchers is going to be in my life. Long story, but you'll understand.

I've decided to stop wearing my Active Link and just wear my Fitbit. It tells me everything I want to know; weight loss, pound to go to goal, food intake, sleep track, calories burned, steps taken, active minutes and more. I can even share challenges with friends. I know that my Fitbit will be around well after WW is gone. That means; eliminate the Active Link since I'd have to pay to keep it going.

Here's the bottom line: Calories in. Calories out. Take in what you need to live. Burn what you need to lose weight. WE got this.

Result: I'm walking more. A lot more. I'm more conscience of the food that goes in my mouth. I'm more aware of the calories. I know that I can "eat that", if I want to earn it or am willing to burn it. I CAN still eat what I want under those circumstances.

The best part is that I don't feel like wasting a whole day in my comfy chair.

A lot of background. A little weight related stuff.

I feel like this is just as good a place as any to jot down my feelings. I'm not really sure if anyone gets notifications when I post here, so I am just going to take my chances. I've always taken pride in being transparent with my weight loss and this time will be no different. Blogging in public, does not make me proud of what I've done. I am just looking for a place to journal.

I've spent the better part of the last 2-3 years in some sort of state of depression. I started this journey by having to give up on the running that I once used to love to do. My knee hurt something awful after the 1/2 marathon I ran in 2011. It was just prior to that when I found out my EX-husband would be going to jail. The duration of his sentence was not yet known. The realization of receiving reimbursements for his half of the kids medical bills was in the forefront of my mind. Let's not forget his share of the daycare costs and all of the kids' health insurance.

It was all on me now. All. On. Me. That's a big load for anyone. Can I make it on a teacher's salary? Will the kids and I be able to still do some of the fun things we do? Will they have to give up camps and extra curricular activities? How hard will things get? I did not want to think about it. So I didn't. And life went on.

He turned himself in towards the beginning of February 2012. This sentence would last until mid-June. Times was rough, but we were doing ok. I wasn't running. I stopped exercising. I was still eating right though.

Summer of 2012 seemed to be going pretty well. I was having a good time with the man I was dating and his big family. Toward the end of the summer, I started to notice that he was also stressing me out. I guess my body just could not handle things anymore, because I found myself more and more in the napping position. With headaches.

I did not want to go back to teaching feeling this way so I made a doctor's appointment. Because I did not think much about what was wrong with me or what my symptoms were. I just knew that I was not feeling well. I was praying that it was nothing serious. The nurse practitioner questioned me a lot. When she was finished, I was starting to think maybe it had something to do with my thyroid.

Doc came in and said, "Well I don't think it is your thyroid." Ok. He says, "I think you have depression." Now this was a very hard pill for me to swallow. I always thought of myself as a very positive person. Upbeat. Optimistic. Strong. I left his office thinking a couple of different things. First, he has to be nuts. This just cannot be. Second, he is a smart man. Maybe I need to take his advice, fill the script and see how things go.

The depression was confirmed when the pharmacist told me the one month prescription would cost me $88. This is part of the reason why I was feeling bad; money. There wasn't any. I had to take a loan out from both of my parents. How humbling that at age 41, I was borrowing money from my mom and dad. UGH.

I got through to the next pay day and through that script. YEP. I was feeling better. I'd gained a couple of small pounds, but doing better. Family man and I broke up. I was feeling good. I started to lose some of that weight. I was getting compliments. Nice.

Thanksgiving evening, I got a phone call from the EX's girlfriend. He was in a drunk driving accident. And I knew what that meant for his future. For his kids. For me. And I was sinking further and further. Prison time was becoming inevitable. And it did, but not before he married the Crazy Woman.

By June of 2013, Winning Dad was incarcerated. He was sentenced to 10 years. Luckily for him, his time was to be served concurrently for his breaking parole and his accident et. al. With time served and good behavior, maybe he would serve 2 - 2 1/2 years. And my heart sunk; those poor kids. Theyd did not deserve this. And me. How was I going to do this AGAIN, but for a longer period of time? I just don't know that I can do this again. Ah, but I am strong and I love those kids. I can do this.

We get through the first few months of his sentence and I start getting that feeling again. Doc agrees with me that an increase in meds is a viable solution. Done. While my depression seems to be mostly under control, my weight gain is NOT!!!

In the summer of 2013, I gained more than a couple of pounds. I don't remember the number, but I do remember feeling lucky that I did not have to wear long pants yet. I knew those would not fit. Over the next 6-7 months, I would be in and out of depression and therefore, having and increasing weight problem.

Weight gain is about as real as the depression. I don't like either one of them. Last week, I went in for my annual check-up. Doc wants me to try out an anti-depressant that also contains a stimulant. I don't feel the anti-depressant part working just yet, but I have felt the stimulant working. I can feel the energy working everyday.

I've been on this new medicine for 1 week now. According to Doc, I should have the benefits of the anti-depressant working in the next 2-3 weeks. I'm praying for that. I just want to feel normal again.

As far as my weight loss goes, I can't really focus on that right now. I'm working on getting my mind back in the game. I figure once that happens, everything else will fall into place. So, for now, all I can do is make sure that I take my medicine everyday.

I do wear my Active Link and my FitBit everyday. I can't be in any competitions with Weight Watcher people. Those make me feel like a loser. I know it is all in my head, but I like the competition that LB includes me in. I always come in 1st or 2nd in those. LOL.

Prayers for a healthy outcome.

If you are viewing this, let me know with a short comment. I'd love to find out if anyone is reading.

To post or not to post?

My dear friend, TP, asked me to follow her blog and support her in getting motiviated to lose weight. That's why I'm here. To try to decide if this is right for me or not.

I'll let you know. Right now I need to go to sleep.

Doctor Forced "Diet"

Because my dad had colon cancer and I had polyps 10 years ago, it is time for my 10-year check-up. UGH. Why do I not remember the "diet" they put me on right before? Oh, I know. Probably because I was in the hospital in a lot of pain. The diet escaped me. Well, and there's the whole I-didn't-care-what-I-put-in-my-mouth thing back then.

Now is a different story. I care what goes in my mouth. I love fruits and veggies. They are the crux of "getting through" for me. For 7 days, I have to give up my daily vitamin. I can already feel my energy level decreasing. for 3 days I have to give up ALL fruits and vegetables. 3 DAYS!!!! UGH. That is going to seem like forever. I feel like I am going to have a hard time with that. Thursday I must be on an all clear liquid diet (while I am at work, even). More UGH.

I worry about compensating for the lack of F/V with "pointed" foods. This is going to take extra work on my part to get through. Do you think the liquid diet will make up for it? Damn shame the liquid diet can't include a beer or two, a glass of wine maybe. By then I'll need it.

Ok. Wish me luck.

Love in losing,

Jenny

ohMAword

My, how time gets away from me. Did not realize it has been a month and a half since my last post.

Just thought I would let you know that I survived the fasting. Happened to lose 3.6 in the process. Ya think it had much to do with the fact that I did not get my points in every day? Bad news is....it was hard to keep off. I'm glad I was doing that for God, not for dieting purposes.

That's right. Once again, I proved that "diets" don't work. This is a lifestyle change. Once the diet is over, everything goes back to the way it was. I hope you know that by now.

Do you just LOVE the weather we are having? I hope it has helped motivate you to get out an be active. I know it has me. Saturday after the meeting I usually go straight to get my nails done. This week, I dropped my car off at Plaza Tire Auto for routine maintenance. Instead of a friend picking me up and taking me to the nail salon, I jogged there and back. It was a beautiful 2 mile round trip.

Sunday I went to Tracey's house for my bi-weekly visit. (I like how she invites me now and I don't have to ask. heehee) ohMAword, who knew it would get so warm? I got a sunburn!!! I wore my "cooling clothes" there and almost had heat exhaustion. Needless to say, I shed that layer of clothing for the walk home.

Sick kids are calling.

Love in losing,

Jenny

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I would like to start by wishing each of you blessings this New Year. May God be with you every step of the way.

Let me next tell you that I have a lot to say. I hope that I don't ramble or stray too much off topic. I think that a lot of what I am about to tell you will make sense when I inform you that I have been in a weird spot this break. My kids were gone for most of the break and for a bit of it, I was lonely.

Looking back on it all, I think I was protesting being alone and being lonely by eating, by not tracking,....I'm not sure why I thought that Loneliness would argue back with me. Loneliness does not care. Nor does it value me. And now I know that it also does not DEFINE me.

It is true, I gained two-and-a-half pounds between Christmas and New Years. Not what I wanted, but also not terrible. In my pre-WW years, I could have put on an "easy" 5-10 pounds in that week. And with out a single thought about any of them.

What I learned is although the journey is fun and encouraging, the destination is amazing. I like being "at goal". I feel good. I feel great. But I did not like what I did to myself over break. The weird weather kept me inside a lot. Then two sore knees (from a 8+ mile walk) kept me from doing much.

What I am going to do about it is two-fold. First, I am going be outside training WHENEVER I can. Maybe even when I can't. I have to squeeze the training in if I want to meet my personal completion goal. Second, I am going to do better for myself. By that I mean, I am going to cleanse myself for God. I am limiting my online "fun", I am reading the Bible daily and I am fasting for a few weeks.

Now don't get all worried about me. I am eating. I am eating minimally during the work day: i.e. fruits and veggies with one protein bar. For dinner, more veggies, a carbohydrate and more protein. Because of this, I am not counting my points. I would, except I honestly don't want to know how MUCH I am depriving myself. My goal is to CLEANSE. This will not last forever. I will be back "on plan" at the end of the month.

I will still be working. No worries. I will see you Saturday. It is something I want to do for God with my church.

Love in losing,

Jenny Wright

7:30am Saturday

Festus

Merry Christmas

This time of year is filled with lots of emotions. Sadness in not having someone special to share it with (kids don't count when they are not here), happiness that my little one still believes in the magic and gratefulness in the ability to be able to provide for my family and give them the Christmas they deserve.

All of these emotions give me reason to eat. Sadness makes me want to give up on all I've worked for and just say, "what the hell?" Happiness makes me want to have a party in my mouth with scrumptious goodness.

This year I am armed with something more powerful than my emotions. I am armed (with the presence of Jesus Christ) and the PointsPlus Program. I know that instead of munching all day while I cook dinner, I can grab an orange or two. (They were good!) I know that by tracking what goes in my mouth, I will be less likely to put a pinch of this or a spoonful of that in my mouth.

I am grateful for a lot. I am grateful for our Lord who gives me the strength to get through each day, especially the rough ones. I am grateful for my children who are full of laughter and smarts which keeps me on my toes. They also teach me patience on a daily basis. I am grateful for the two jobs that I have. I have the BEST teaching job in the world. I also love all the positions that I hold with WW. I believe it is a wonderful company and can't wait to do that full time after retiring from teaching. I am grateful for having financial smarts. This has allowed me to do things that I never would have been able to do while I was married.

I am also grateful for YOU. My life would not be the same with you in it.

Blessings to you and your family on this wonderful Christmas eve.

Love in losing,

Jenny

Still striven in 2011

I've been reflecting this afternoon on today's meeting. I sense that some of you are not as excited as Tracey and myself. Let me talk about that for a bit.

I want you to know that it is ok for you to lack confident in the program. It is a new beginning. And change is hard. I understand how you feel. I was there. Remember me telling you how I strattled the fence? On the one hand, I knew WW was good with their research. On the other hand, I have a hard time "letting go" of things.

I am not asking you to jump in the deep end. I am only asking you to get your feet wet. Maybe the big toe. Just enough to give it a try. A meal. A day. Two days. Three. See how it goes. I think what you'll find is that the program does work and it is not as hard as you think. I would like for you to try one day of figuring points.

I know this is going to be a bit of work, as you may not be accustomed to figuring points for everything you eat. This is like you just signed up. Remember those days? Remember how ambitious you were? Remember how excited you were after the first week when you lost weight? It will happen with this program also.

Once you have the points refigured, it will be a piece of cake. It won't be long before this is just like the old days and you have all these foods figured out too.

I sure hope this little pep talk helped. I don't expect you to be as excited as me (although, it would be fun), but I would like for you to at least enjoy your WW journey. I would like to make more of you lifetime in 2011 than we did in 2010. I don't have that number off the top of my head, but I do know that it is low....2 or 3. I did not buy many flowers this year.

I am going to set some more goals for us. I would like to make at least 12 people lifetime by this time next year. Who's with me? I would also like to keep our numbers per meeting at or above 32. My last goal is for us to lose at least 25 pounds per meeting. We are going to be striven for the whole year of 2011.

Striven means:To exert much effort or energy. We are going to exert much effort in our weight loss. We are going to put forth the right amount energy in order to increase our exercise and our weight loss.

I am still going to give you the opportunity to make a t-shirt. I just don't think it will happen in the first few weeks of January. It will have to wait to see how many people we have week-to-week. Many of you new people don't know of what I speak, but will inform you soon. Goal t-shirts.

Start thinking about what your goal is for 2011.

Love in losing,

Jenny

730am Saturday.

I guess you were as excited about the new Points Plus program as I was (am). Before I go any further, let me just tell you that I CANNOT wait to see how well you did on your first week of the program.

We were even more super pumped after you left. If it were up to me to make this declaration, I certainly would be able to say that, "based on our product sales of December 4, 2010 we are OUT of the recession." We had 36 people. I don't know how many of you bought product, but I do know that we sold 20 deluxe member kits (which means 20 free calculators), and 17 additional calculators. Our product sales totaled over $1,100.

I heard this is what was happening around the country. However, I thought that was only happening in the nice centers. Never would I have imagined that we would do that well in our little church basement. On the other hand, I did predict that we would sell more than 12 of those deluxe member kits.

We sold so many that we ran out. I'll have to get mine another time. I am ok with that.

My week so far is going well. The eating part is anyway. That's enough for now. I have other worries to take care of...."who will I get to work for Tracey if she has the baby before Saturday?"

Love in Losing,

Jenny

Festus,

730 Saturday

Smart Phone

MAN!! I wish I had one of those things. I love tracking online, but am not always near my computer.

I went out to eat with my Dad Wednesday. I sure was appalled at portion sizes listed on the menu. In the kiddy section was a 1/4 burger. AND the menu asks politely for kids only to eat off the kids menu. REALLY? So, if I wanted a burger (which I did), I had to order a 1/2. Are you kidding me? That is WAY too much food for me.

Needless to say, I did not have the burger. Shrimp. How many points though? French fries that I could not resist? Dunno. I did what any good Weight Watcher would do....I eliminated the rest of my Weekly Points Allowance. That being said, I also had a beer when I got home.

That being said. I was a tracking fiend today. Aaaaahhh. It feels so good to be ON program. Losing weight or not. I FEEL healthy.

I can't wait until tomorrow....to share with you what you have not learned already online....to see how my week turned out....to share that with you too.....to see the excitement in your eyes when you learn all that we know....

Until then.

Jenny

Festus

730 Saturday.

Problem Solved

Problem number 1: What is the "price" of the Mr. Z's meatlovers pizza? Solution: Go to the FAQ section of the website. Look up nutrition. Bingo Bango Boingo. There it was just waiting for me....and my math brain. The nutrition guide has one serving as 1/6 of the pie. Well, I cut the pizza into 1/4 slices. However, I am no exact pizza cutter. Anyway, I love that I underestimated the amount of points. PROBLEM SOLVED.

Problem number 2: Those DAMN cookies. Solution: Move them to the garage. Nope. Not working. Solution number 2: eat them all to get rid of them. PERFECT. They were yummy. Now they are gone. AND the great news is that I still have WPA left for the rest of the week. PROBLEM SOLVED.

I just cannot tell you enough how much I LOVE the new program. By the looks and feel of things, I will be down an accidental 2+ pounds this week. (Of course I was up last week by no fault of my own.) If I continue to do as well as I am doing, I might just hit my pre-marital weight this week.

I had sort of given up on that goal. I mean for MONTHS I lingered at a pound/pound and a half above that number. Then I realized that is exactly what that was: a number. Would I have felt any different minus one pound or so? I don't think so.

Today's talk: I track well at school. I take part of my break to catch up my Ultimate Three Month Journal and my eTools tracker. The difficult part is when I get home. I am used to making dinner quickly so that it is ready for the kids when they get home from school. Sometimes, I get busy and forget to calculate the points while I am cooking.

I thought about not doing it today. My next immediate thought was, "if I don't fill in today accurately, how will I know how many WPA I have left?" I answered my own question. The only way to know for sure it write it down. While the kid were cleaning up, I got out all the ingredients to dinner and figured up my dinner points. And let me just tell you, I feel so much better about my WW progress for this week.

I hope that you see as much progress as I have in my first weeks of the Points Plus Program. The feedback from our surrounding counties as they have launched the program is OUTSTANDING. I cannot wait to see you Saturday morning.

Love in Losing,

Jenny

Festus

730

Saturday

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Some one needs to come over and get these things outa here. These must be my downfall. Now I must come up with a plan.

Here is the problem for today. I had two pieces of leftover Mr. Z's pizza. I don't have the label. I did not eat it when we ate it originally so I have no idea what the points are for that. Would it be safe to assume that for a regular crust with "meat lovers" topping that each slice was about 5 points? I think so. Well, that's what I am going with anyway.

Then those DAMN cookies. Had 4 already. As I stated yesterday, those little morsels of yummy-ness are 3 points a piece. Now I am down 10 for pizza and 15 for cookies. (YES. That means I just ate one while getting James to close the lid properly.) DAMN!

So. At 12:35 I have negative 4 points for the day. Still wanting to tell you how grateful I am for the LARGE number of WPA. I now am down to 35 for the week. This should be ok.

MY PLAN: Tonight the kids are gone for dinner. I have ingredients to make a lovely salad for dinner. I can't wait. YUM. I love salad. Part two of my plan involves putting those cookies out in the garage where they are not so accessible. Out of sight, out of mind.

Summary: Keep it out of the house. Keep it out of sight. Serve it to someone who doesn't care.

Love in Losing,

Jenny

Fetus

730am

Saturday

ohMAword

ohMAword is all I can say right now. Well, I did it again. Although, this time I caught myself before it was terribly late. I did not have much to eat all day. Ok. That's a lie. I had an apple before the meeting and an apple after the meeting. What you don't know right now is that this means so far, I've had ZERO points. That's right. ZERO points.

The kids and I were going to put up our tree when we got home. We were diverted for a bit (3 hours) when my out-of-town cousins called for an impromptu gathering they were having. So we left. No food was served. We arrived in town again around 1pm.

Jack-in-the-box. How much could the points there have changed? Tacos used to be 3 points each. I knew that I would pay a bit for the small curly fries. Here's how that turned out: tacos are now 5 points. YIKES! When I multiplied that by 4, I got 19. OUCH. That's 7 more than I would have spent earlier in the year. Small curly fries are only one point more than before. I spent 7 on those.

I am now 7 points in the negative for the week. In other words, I've now used 7 of my Weekly Points Allowance. Because I also had a couple of chocolate chip cookies and a Cow (whatever they are called) ice cream sandwich.

Have you done the math on this? 19 plus 5 plus cookies and ice cream. (I know. Not the healthiest of days, but that's not my point right now.) AND I only used up 7 of my WPA. Do you know what that means? Yes!!! I get 29 points a day.

Most of you will also!! And EVERYONE gets 49 (yes, 49) Weekly Points Allowance. What a saving grace this will be. I still have 42 WPA left for the week.

This is so exciting! I cannot wait to teach you all about it.

Love in Losing,

Jenny

Festus

730am Saturday

Thanksgiving

Well. How did you do? Did you have a plan and follow through with it? Did you wear buttoned pants? Did you leave a space in between your food? Did you say, "No Thank you" to seconds?

I made it through using the rest of my Weekly Points Allowance. I feel good about that. And today is the last day of the week for me. I'll let you know how it goes Saturday.

That makes Saturday the last day of our old program, Momentum. Sunday launches Points Plus. I cannot wait to run this for one more week before introducing it to you. I realize that you eTool users will have a preview online before the big introduction in the meeting. However, it will benefit you to still come to the meeting.

Please feel free to go to our website and do a little research. Bring questions you have for after I give you the introduction.

I hope you find this just as exciting as I do.

Love in Losing,

Jenny

Festus

7:30am Saturday

Still Striven in Twenty-Eleven

Folks! I am so excited!! I just can't tell you. Really. I can't tell you.

I can tell you this though. I strattled the fence of both programs: Momentum and PointsPlus. It was not easy to live one program while preaching the other. True I do not necessarily have any more weight to lose. My doctor says I should not lose anymore weight.

However, I thought that in order for me to deliver PointsPlus to you and be truly educated in the program, I should live it for a spell. This thought hit me like a ton of bricks in the middle of the week. Tuesday.

I was keeping track of my points before Tuesday. I was using some of "last year's" points values with some of the benefits of "this year's" program. NOT a good mix. I continued to maintain. Fine for me, but not for being able to tell you how AWESOME this new program is. I would not recommend doing this.

Here is what happened between Tuesday and Weigh In Day (Saturday).....I followed the program. I did what I was told. I used the Ultimate 3 Month Tracker. I used every aspect of the tracker; I time stamped my meals, indicated my hunger status and accurately recorded my points for every meal and snack. I journaled in the journal section. I wrote down goals and tracked my activity.

And the result (in 4 full days of this) is a loss of 1.6 pounds. And my thought following stepping on the scale was this: "Jen! Imagine what would have happened if you would have done this all week long."

With this being said, I want you to also get super excited! I am not that smart of a person. I am actually quite ordinary. Just like you. Which means if I can do it, so can you. I can't wait to introduce you to this program. I can't wait for you to experience the program just like me.

Love in Losing,

Jenny

Festus, Saturday 7:30am

Not Many Points to Eat

Yesterday was a great eating day for me. It was amazing to me to see what happens on the scale when you eat just the points you are supposed to eat. Oh Happy Scale.

Today was not bad, but I did eat over my alloted points. Only by 2. Not sure why I feel like I've eaten 2 pounds of food over my points for the day. I'm working so hard; I really hope that I am not up in numbers.

I don't have any revelations for today. Nothing glamorous to share. No major downfalls either. I do wish that I could get outside for a good walk.

Perhaps I'll have more to share when I feel a bit "better."

Love in Losing,

Jenny

Walking Around Town

In my motivation to get fit, I've signed up for a 1/2 marathon in St. Louis in April. I'm pretty excited about it. Back in the day, I used to run a lot. The thought occurred to me then that I might enjoy a race of some kind. Before I had a chance to look into training for such an event, I had a life-changing surgery. This was followed by marriage and kids. No more "me time".

Since the race is on a day when the kids are at their Dad's, I knew this was doable. NO excuses. I signed up and paid my money. This means I am now committed to the deal. I went to a site where they (for free) will give you a training schedule. Oh My Word, it is a 14 week schedule. That means I should have started in late December. Yikes, it's February already. I'm a bit late.

So, yesterday I got my butt up from the computer and went for a walk. YAY, me. I was determined to walk for an hour to see where that got me. I was cut short of that and was done in around 35 minutes.

For those of you who know where I live, you are familiar with the GIANT hill outside of my subdivision. I went down that hill, came out near Poppy's walked toward KFC and back up the huge hill. (Like the food references to the route I took?) Ironically, I got a call while at the very bottom of the hill. (This is important to know, because then I could use the clock on my phone to reference how long it took me to walk back up the hill.) It was 2:16pm. When I returned home it was just past 2:35. --YEAH, the hill SUCKS.

Part of point though is that I walked the firt leg, a bit longer than a mile, in over 10 minutes. For my first time out, I don't think that's too bad. Next time, I am going to take that hill down and come from the other direction on my way home which is a much gentler slope to conquer.

I feel pretty good about all of this. If only I hadn't eaten so many of my WPA on Sunday. No worries, it'll work itself out with excercise as it usually does.

Today's diddy: "Don't put off til tomorrow what you can walk off today."

Love in Losing,
Jenny

Ps. Thanks Tracey for inviting me and everyone else to join you in the walk.

Random Thoughts

Met first goal. Next goal is on the way. YAY.

I can't say that day I am having any "issues" with the weight loss program. However, I might need someone to educate me a bit on the eTools. I thought that I'd done this in the past, but cannot figure it out right now.....I want to track food that I already know the points value of. It is not yet a "favorite" of mine so I can't pull it from that list. If I want to add that food, it asks me to name the CFF. I don't necessarily know this, b/c I've done that at home and don't have the package anymore.

I have food whose name brand (or store brand) is on on the eTools list. How can I put the food on my tracker without having to input the CFF?

Not an issue, but an observation: I've noticed that I eat more for lunch than I do for dinner. I guess that's good. I don't have many points left for dinner. For the most part, that seems to be ok. I'll be glad when someone eats the last of those chocolate chip cookies on my counter. (NOT me, silly)

Here is another thought: Hockey game food. Points on a hotdog? nachos? beer? ooooo, that might be hard. Gotta be good for that night. YIKES. I love that stuff.

Today's diddy: "If you surrender coopletey to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments." Anne Morrow Lindbergh

SECRETS to be told that help keep me MOTIVATED

The things I am about to tell you are personal. I will not share this at a meeting, because it is not the WW way. It is not what I would recommend. It is what is working for me now to lose these few pounds I've gained in the past several months. In addition, I have my WW JOB to keep me accountable. The secrets revealed are what kept me accountable when I had a manager who wasn't.

NOTE: I am having a "no hold barred" attitude with the blog this time. If you get offended easily or have a weak stomach, this is not for you. Getting this out helps me. If it helps you too, then great.

Things for me are different now than when I lost my weight as a non-service provider. I'm not sure why; they just are. One difference is that when I was losing my weight "back in the day", I did NOT have a scale at home. The main reason for that is holds true for today; I get going good at the beginning of the week then in my head I know that I can do it. So, I stop. I have no justification for this. I full-well know that if I did not have the scale, I would go-go-go until weigh-in day.

The other difference is that I weigh myself in the morning AND at night. Now this started not because I thought I would lose weight from morning to night, but for another reason....I AM a NERD. I was told by a former leader that what I ate today would affect the scale 2 days from now. Here began my weight-tracking. It started off innocent....just once a day. I wanted to see if that really did happen. If I ate horrible on Tuesday, did it really show up on Thursday? Well, for me it depends on WHEN the horrible happened. If it was in the morning then it showed on the scale the next day. If it happened in the evening then it may not show up for 2 days.....Just depended on WHAT I consumed. Alcohol would appear in the morning.

Then this innocent tracking turned into, "wonder how much different my true morning weight is from my evening weight." So, again I began tracking this. Now I track morning and evening weight. Now, I am no ordinary nerd. I have lots of data from this. I could tell you what day of the week is best for me to weigh-in (it is NOT Saturday, BTW). I could tell you what happens to my weight on my "feminine" week. I could tell you that on mornings when I had a decent sleep, I had a better weight loss.

Therefore, this was not me wanting to "go against my own directions" I give to you, but I was data collecting. Good for my mind. Helpful later.

How do these secrets I've shared with you help keep me motivated? I'll tell you. Last year after the launch of the Momentum program I was pumped. I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to look good. I wanted to be sexy. What kept me going everyday was setting mini-goals. My first goal was to get my "nighttime weight" below 155, say. Knowing that if I did that, I would be close to being below that same number for my "morning weight". Next goal: be below 155 in the morning, then 150 at night, 150 in the morning, 145 at night,.....you get the idea. I was setting and achieving mini-goals at least once (sometimes twice) a week.

I NEEDED THOSE MINI-GOALS to keep me going. At this point in my life, I need all the help and motivation I can get. I have something to work towards and the reward is just around the corner.

Tracey commented (the comments are awesome, keep them coming) that she may need to hear something on self-motivation. The other thing that helped me stay motivated was taking the very small sticky notes and placing them EVERYWHERE around my house. They were IN the freezer, IN the cabinets, on the OUTSIDE of the cabinets, ON my computer screen, ON my mirror, ON the outside of the fridge,....(forgetting anyplace KL?). EACH sticky note had my ultimate weight goal on it in big numbers. There was not a place in the house I could go without seeing that number to remind me of what I wanted to accomplish.

Guess I should do that again.

Today's diddy: "Don't wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great." Orison Swett Marden

Love in Losing,
Jenny

Surprise!!!

Despite feeling defeated yesterday, I had a small success today (already). I am down a bit.

Yesterday, I thought I did so great with the tracking thing and all. And I did. I even logged in to eTools just before I went to bed. I wanted to make sure my numbers were accurate. What happened though, was I used the eTools information to get my points values. One of which was this caramel dipping stuff I used with my apple. ETools told me it was 3 points, but when I got home I used my calculator on it and it was 5 points. HOLY COW.

I did not add it to my tracker last night, because I felt defeated and worn down. I was ready to give up. However, I'd worked too hard that day to gorge, which is what I wanted to do. Instead, I got busy and soon feel asleep. I did not go to bed hungry, but I am not convinced that I felt "satisfied".

So this morning I wake up and step on the scale. To my surprise, I decreased my weight a bit. Not a lot, just enough to give me the strength and the courage to continue on. So, on I go....

This morning I am home from work with a sick little girl. Being home is hard for me sometimes. There is so much here that I would love to eat. It's not all good-for-me foods. Everything in moderation, and most of it is for my kids. So, my next quest is to find something that I would like to eat for breakfast besides the delicious orange I ate. (Did you know that the mini oranges on the electronic scale weigh in at 0 points? Two of them equal one point.) Hummmmm.

Hope you find this helpful. What is helpful for me is if there is at least one comment on each blog. It keeps me going. Love to hear from you.

Today's diddy: Keep the program working in your daily life. Just because you think you had a bad day does not mean that's what will show up on the scale.

Love in Losing,

Jenny