Let me next tell you that I have a lot to say. I hope that I don't ramble or stray too much off topic. I think that a lot of what I am about to tell you will make sense when I inform you that I have been in a weird spot this break. My kids were gone for most of the break and for a bit of it, I was lonely.
Looking back on it all, I think I was protesting being alone and being lonely by eating, by not tracking,....I'm not sure why I thought that Loneliness would argue back with me. Loneliness does not care. Nor does it value me. And now I know that it also does not DEFINE me.
It is true, I gained two-and-a-half pounds between Christmas and New Years. Not what I wanted, but also not terrible. In my pre-WW years, I could have put on an "easy" 5-10 pounds in that week. And with out a single thought about any of them.
What I learned is although the journey is fun and encouraging, the destination is amazing. I like being "at goal". I feel good. I feel great. But I did not like what I did to myself over break. The weird weather kept me inside a lot. Then two sore knees (from a 8+ mile walk) kept me from doing much.
What I am going to do about it is two-fold. First, I am going be outside training WHENEVER I can. Maybe even when I can't. I have to squeeze the training in if I want to meet my personal completion goal. Second, I am going to do better for myself. By that I mean, I am going to cleanse myself for God. I am limiting my online "fun", I am reading the Bible daily and I am fasting for a few weeks.
Now don't get all worried about me. I am eating. I am eating minimally during the work day: i.e. fruits and veggies with one protein bar. For dinner, more veggies, a carbohydrate and more protein. Because of this, I am not counting my points. I would, except I honestly don't want to know how MUCH I am depriving myself. My goal is to CLEANSE. This will not last forever. I will be back "on plan" at the end of the month.
I will still be working. No worries. I will see you Saturday. It is something I want to do for God with my church.
Love in losing,
Jenny Wright
7:30am Saturday
Festus
