Monday's Post is on Our Story.....

I dunno why that happens. I suppose that I should pay more attention to things.

You wanna know what I found out today? Adrenaline makes me less hungry. I got all worked up today and could hardly eat. I had eaten breakfast already--a banana and a yogurt. By the time lunch arrived all I could muster was the container of fruit that I brought....skipping the veggies and pasta leftovers. That was good.

The faculty meeting however, found me ready to indulge....aaaaannnnndd there were cookies. Chocolate chip cookies. I had two. So, what I learned from that was: don't go to faculty meetings. No really, comming "down" from an adrenaline rush makes you hungry.

Today's diddy: "Life is like a radio. You can't always choose the song, but you can decide on what to listen to." that's from me.

Love in Losing,
Jenny

Lettuce-free Salad

The meeting this week was awesome!!! My heart gets all choked up when I talk about it. Not only are you losing weight and becoming lifetime in the fastest time I have ever seen, but you are also generous with your heart. ONE member donated an entire basket of things for our Relay For Life campagin. Several have either purchased items and donated or given cash for us to purchase things with. Many of you are donating your time and efforts in other manners. So much that I am just blown away.

We may not be setting records (yet) in statistics kept by WW management, but we have exceeded ANY expectation of giving that I have ever seen. I love you. It is truly MY pleasure to work with and lead such great people to their own greatness. Some of you will go onto become helpful Lifetime Members----giving advice at meetings, others of you will go onto become receptionist who help the meeting run, and some of you will become great leaders of your own meetings. Just make sure you remember the little people (me) when you are touching the lives of others.

This weekend turned out to be a good one. BBQ with neighbors Saturday. I was so busy making the food, I hardly had a chance to eat. We ate so late that all we did for dinner was a small snack. Felt real good at the end of the day. Today was pretty much leftover DAY. We had a lot of food leftover from yesterday. Again, I feel good....go some carb that are doing their thing right now, but that will settle down soon.

I went to the grocery store yesterday morning. I bought a bunch of yummy ingredients to put into a salad for my lunch all week. Looking forward to the meals....until I started to put away the food and realized that I did not buy the lettuce. Now WHAT?! What is a salas without lettuce? I guess I will let you know. I refuse to let any of that food go to waste. I will eat lettuce-free salad this week. Whaddaya think?

Today's diddy: Determination won't let obstacles stand in the way.
Love in Losing,
Jenny

Who can do it? YOU CAN!!!

The thought has been creeping into my mind slowly over a period of time. But it hit me like a two-by-four today. It sure was a lot easier to behave myself at work when I was doing the program with someone for a race to the "goal" line. Perhaps I also need to buy the ingredients for salad. I have not had a salad in while. This week I've reached into the refridgerator for red beans and rice, a turkey sandwich on not-so-low-calorie bread, chicken flavored noodles (probably my only good choice for the week) and the very last of what turned out to be a "weak" salad.

Salad day was what I feel like was my only good day this week. In reality, I know that I have had other good days this week. This is just my current feelings toward all of it. My view may be a bit skewed. I know that I have not gained weight...in fact I am down a scosh from yesterday.

I am just a hair under where I am supposed to be. Since I have short hair, I would really like to be a bit more under there. This is all still within my +/- 2 pounds. I just don't want to be THAT close.

You wanna know what is funny? When I was at the top end of my range and slightly above I had some different feelings about myself. REad this. I did go above my +2 for awhile. It was actually +4. At that point, I thought I would feel better about myself if I could just get down right under my goal....so a loss of 5 pounds. Not much, but something. And I did feel better. For a short time.

Now, though? I am uncomfortable when I get close to the -10 pounds mark. Already 10 pounds under my WW top end-of-the-range number. (NOT my goal, by the way.) And yet uncomfortable with myself. Isn't it wierd how different we feel at different weights?

I remember a time when I would tell myself, "you will be soo fat at --- pounds. You don't EVER want to get there." Got there. Not uncomfortable with myself. In fact THAT number is now my secret goal weight......by secret, I mean that I would just like to hit that number once. I am not sure that I want to stay there. I am happy with the current goal that I have. Now I need to get re-focused and stay there.

I am doing it. Are you?

Saturday we are wearing workout close for a new promotion. Wear yours too.

Today's diddy: Only you can control you. Be responsible.

Love in Losing,
Jenny

Follow the Leader, the Leader, the Leader...

Sometimes life is a bit backwards. I love how that goes sometimes. I have been a bit more motivated by the CEO of WW. Can you believe that? I don't know the man personally, but he is doing the right thing.

Guess what he did? I am not sure when his motivation hit him. I can tell you that mine hit after Innovations in Novemeber of 2008. I got the new Momentum program and took off with it. Nearing where I don't want to be, I have been inspired to write down what goes in my mouth again. You see, I have been maintaining my weight for the better part of 2 months now. I was writing it down each week. I suppose I got accustomed to what I was eating, because my weight maintained and I inadertently stopped writing it down. Over the past 2 weeks, I have put on a pound or two.

I have not gotten to my "forbidden" weight yet. I just know that I don't want to get any closer.

Anyway, not only has David Kirshoff, our CEO, gotten back into losing weight, he has also started his own blog.....on the blogspot.com site. Funny huh? You two can read his blog. www.manmeetsscale.blogspot.com

He, like me, do it for selfish reasons. Although, if it helps you, then GREAT!!!!! Be warned though...he has great pictures on his. I am NOT that religious about using my camera. Although, it would be fun to do so. I hope that you find inspiration somewhere....here or on his spot.

I am already down 1 pound since writing in down this week. I am a true believer in this, but I am still amazed at how it works.

Random thought: We soon will be celebrating two more lifetimes....Willie and Tracey. Isn't this great. All of these people around us with all of this experience to share with us everyday. I am so proud of each of you for doing what you need to do to make you a healthier you.



Today's diddy: "Stare it down". (Empower yourself.) ---Linda Lovejoy

Love in Losing,
JEnny

It's Gotta Be Because I am Overworked....

I just posted a great blog......on the wrong blog page. Check out "Our Story" for the latest WW blog. Go to "View my profile" at the bottom of the page on the right. Scroll down until you see the "Our Story" blog. Click and read.

Man, I have got to get to bed earlier.

Love in Losing,
Jenny

It's All About Attitude

I figured out what was wrong with me. I did not feel quite right the past couple of days. (No worries, Ioday I feel fine.) I had some strong stomach pains, which I thought was just gas. You know that feeling you get when you eat too many veggies/fruit? Top it off with a starch or two, and you have a lot of gurggling and stuff.

Well, I believe it was bad crab from my fridge. I had some for dinner Monday and some for lunch Tuesday. I just wanted to go to bed---laying down seemed to make me feel better. Yesterday, I went for the crab to make for lunch and I saw yellow spots. I thought I saw them the day before, but in the dim light, I thought I was just seeing things. All is better now.

I have to say, I did enjoy going to bed early and feeling well rested in the morning.

However, now I feel like I am behind in everything.....remodel to finish, flip chart to make (usually made by Wednesday), house to clean, laundry to do, etc,....and what to make for dinner tonight.

So, how does all of this pertain to my weightloss journey? IDK. Truely WATCH what you eat.

I was just commenting on Tracey's remarks: I think maintenance is easier this time for me, because I WANT to be here. I mean truely WANT to be here. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Last time I was at my goal I just wanted to get there. I'm not sure that I wanted to STAY there. Today, I do want to stay here. Today, I know that if I am heavier tomorrow (and its never by much) that I can fix it today. Used to be, that I would just keep hauling the food inward, never stopping. Today, I know that if yesterday was bad, today won't be.

Notice I said, "won't be", not "doesn't have to be". It never had to be a bad day earlier in my life. HAD to BE??? Nothing HAS to be the way it is....we can change ourselves and our attitudes and our choices. So why not start NOW? I know that tomorrow WON'T be like yesterday (the proverbial yesterday).

Join me won't you in making those choices: Choose fruits and veggies over sugar snacks. Choose to walk up a flight of stairs (or walk it quickly). Choose water over the soda. Choose mental games over television. Choose sleep over worry. Choose you over them. Choose faith over fear.

Today's diddy: "You can't have faith and fear at the same time...You can't have two opposite emotions simultaneously." ---anonymous

Good night one and all.

It seems that I have been pretty good at maintaining my weight for the last several weeks. I usually eat all of my points then "splurge"on something fun for dessert. Or like the other day, I had a fun pancake breakfast with my family and nephews who were over for the night. I feel good in knowing that it has not been as hard as it has in the past.

Something is aching at me (besides the heartburn/gas I have right now). I know what it is. (I want to lose those last 3 pounds.) I know what to do about it. (I have to write it down.) I know that I want to start on this 3 days ago. I don't know why I continue to let the weekends get "away from me". I know better.

I know that tomorrow morning I am going to get my journal out again. (I put it away after the week that Rose challenged me to write it down.) So, why do I feel like my drive is gone? I am not sure what I need to do to get out of this funk. ......

For years I went through this every March/April where I question what I do for a living. Am I being effective as an educator? Am I making a difference in people's lives? Should I be doing something else with my life, if so, what? I think that this attitude has carried over into my WW job too. No worries, I will get over it. I will be ok. It will take a short period of time. I have not had this feeling since I have had my new teaching job. Until last week. Now I question everything.

And of course, as you know, it also effects how I take care of myself. It effects how I eat. It effects my weight. It effects how I treat my children.

So, the question of the day.....what to do about it? I think I might have the answer....













scroll down....













GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP. Sleep is soooo important in everything we do from trying to lose weight to simply being functional.






Good night.
Love in Losing,
JEnny

Random Thoughts

First, my apologies to anyone who follows on a regular basis and I have not been there for you. My life as seem to gotten so busy that SOMETHING had to give.

Iknow that it is still early, but I have been doing a lot of thinking since our meeting this morning. You taught me a lesson....I need to introduce myself in detail during the Getting Started Session. I will be extremely brief during the meeting when it comes to that from now on. I was taught to do that in the meeting, but I was also taught that we should give the members what they want. Clearly, you don't want to hear my story every week.

I have been on this "I don't feel like I have been good at my job" thing with my FT job. I hope that I did not carry this over into the meeting this morning. If I did, I did not mean to. I have there for you.

I am going to get started on our "science fair boards" this week. I bought them while shopping today.

HERE WE GO.....

I have been maintaining my weight for the past few weeks. I think that I am happy where I am when I wake up in the morning. Why is it that by the time I go to bed at night I feel sooooo much different? I look at myself and think I should try to shed a few/couple more pounds. Wonder why that is?

I secretly would like to be 3-4 pounds less JUST so I can say that I am the same as before I got married. Really, more like the same as when I met my husband....for those who know the story, and I think you all do.

Today is going well so far. (food-wise). I will come back later today or tomorrow. I am getting ready for a housefull of kids and half of them have not had lunch yet.

Made it Mine

I only have random thoughts today.....

I made my goal this morning. For real this time, not just for a fleeting moment. In fact, I was .4 below, and so far today I feel good about how the rest of the week will turn out. I was a bit surprised by this mornings 1 pound loss, because yesterday for dinner I finished off a sleeve of thin mints.....Thank God THOSE are out of the house now. Thank God. We'll see how it really effects the scale in a day or so.

Ok, so I have NO idea how many points are in a whole sleeve of thin mints, but I did count my points the rest of the day (as I was dared by Rose). By the time I got to those thin mints, I had 16 points left for the day. Perhaps......

Now that I have met my goal, I need to think about if I like it here or if I think I should keep going. I like the idea of having a bit of a flatter stomach. But I am comfortable with me here. Not to mention that if I go much lower I WILL have to buy all new pants, mostly.

Secretly, I enjoy the compliments that I get. Or even just when people notice that I have lost weight.....wait til my mom's husband sees me now. OWWWW!


I just emailed the Relay for Life lady again. I hope that I hear from her. I am looking forward to it. Although, still in a quandry with what to do with my kids for that long, that late at night. humph. Something to think about.

I must get to bed at a decent hour tonight.....my new goal is to get to bed before 9pm 2-3 times per week.

Today's diddy: "Back-patting can whittle your waistline. Be first in line to congratulate yourself."
Love in Losing,
Jenny

4 thoughts for life....

I know that when I am at a church service I should focus more on the preacher. Today he said something that got me thinking about my whole life....I suppose that is a good thing. I could apply the 4 things he mentioned to make us better Christians to my Al-Anon life and my WW life.....

1.) Faith. We need to have faith in the program. There are professionals who work at the corporate office for us. They test this stuff. They have members in test markets use this stuff in real life before they present it to us, the service providers and you, the members. Have faith that if you stick with it you will lose weight.

2.) Courage. You had the courage to show up. You had the courage to walk in the room and sign up. You had the courage to come back. You now need the courage to continue on a road (that may be rough at times) in order to meet your goals. You are courageous. Demonstrate your greatness for others to be inspired.

3.) Obedience. Discipline yourself. Form habits. Make it a lifestyle change. Reward yourself for the good things, the goals met. Don't punish yourself for the slip-ups, use them as learning tools. Every experience in life gives us the opportunity to learn something. The hard part is recognizing it. (Quote me on that.)

4.) Patience. We did not get to where we were when we walked into WW overnight. It won't come off overnight either. Have patience with yourself. Don't expect perfection. Don't try to give up everything at once....you may set yourself up for failure that way....I would hate to see that happen. Allow yourself to mess up without punishing yourself horribly.

I would like to add #5: Strength. Sometimes, I think we have the courage to do the right thing, we just don't have the strength. This is when we have to dig down deep and pull ourselves up (or away from), dust ourselves off and tell ourselves that we CAN do this. We don't have to succumb to those cravings or "wantings".

So far so good. I have kept track of everything. How about you? Yesterday was not good though. My husband went to Shop-n-save for some last minute supplies for the birthday party we were hosting. He bought for ME some spicey/honey chicken nuggets from the deli. This is a weakness of mine. No idea how many points those are, but I had enough. Enough that I also wanted a beer. You know how that is....beer and wings....yum. I can only assume that most, if not all, of my WPA are gone.

I was speaking to my husband today about food. He messed up my BBQ mushrooms AGAIN. Measure the margerine, WAY less salt, and try not to burn them. In doing so, I found out that he likes to feed me. Those were his words. WHy do you suppose that is?!!! Wierd is what I thought. How can you keep me thin AND feed me at the same time? I told him that was like me serving him beer, but asking him to stay sober at the same time. DOESN'T HAPPEN, HONEY. THanks for trying though. I think that might have been a "term of enderment" for him.....to feed me. Who knows?

Today's diddy: "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

Love in Losing,
Jenny

Life is short....

Just the state of mind that I am in right now....While I was giving the getting started session to our 3 newest friends, my phone rang...twice. I thought it must have been important for someone to call me when everyone knows that I work Saturday mornings. And to do it twice, it had me worried.

Right after everyone left (it was just Kellie, Tracey and myself), I checked my vm. A message from one of the ladies that I carpool to work with telling me that passenger number 3's husband died Friday night----self-induced. How could life possibly be THAT bad. Those poor kids, and my friend, omg.

Needless to say, I wrapped myself around my family this weekend. What ever we have going on cannot be that bad that we feel we need to make everyone else's life hard. OOOHhhhh the suffering, the guilt,....

Why do we beat ourselves up with our weightloss? Is it really that much of a tragedy if we gain a pound this week? We are here to gain it....isn't that great?!!!! Should we really make the rest of our day suck, because we are up on the scale? Life is ours today. We breathe. We share love. Aren't we lucky?!!!!

How much luckier are we than those without the friends we have made in Weight Watchers? I cannot count. THAT's how lucky I am today. I wore my goals shirt last Saturday, because I lost focus. Today I am focused. Today I am grateful that I can be focused. Today I have me. And you.
You are lucky. You have you. We have each other.

Stay focused. Be grateful for something. Tell someone you are grateful for them. Make their day.

Today's diddy: "Sometimes it is not always the thought that counts. Sometimes the action counts more." ---Jenny Wright

No pain. No gain.

Life just seems so busy. It feels like forever since I have done this. I was at church this weekend listening to the preacher when I had this revelation: (keep in mind this applies to our spiritual life, our WW life as well as to other parts of our lives.

"We cannot make self-improvements painlessly." Now think about this. Have you ever tried to change a bad habit? How hard was it? Did it hurt? How did it hurt?

I went through a period of life where I looked at my flaws and tried, little by little, to change these or at least to become aware of them so that eventually they could each be changed. This was painful. First of all, because I had to admit that I was not perfect. I know, right, who REALLY thinks they are God?! How stupid. But it was a hard pill to swallow. Then I had to look at each of my defects and figure out WHY I acted the way I did. Not only do I work on fixing these things and going back to old behaviors, but also to make amends for some of those whom I have hurt along the way.

Can you spell P-A-I-N-F-U-L-L ??!!

Now lets apply that to our WW life. Lets fast forward to the week we joined. (There are soooo many feelings and behaviors to discuss that we had BEFORE we joined. That is what I am fast forwarding over here.) How hard was it to step on that scale for the first time? Was it harder because it was a total stranger behind the desk? OMG!!! Did I really get THAT big? How did that happen? What was I thinking?

Now that lady behind the desk knows how fat I am. I don't want to go back there. She may laugh at me. She may talk about me later. (Just so you know, if you don't already.....I care about you, but I can't remember what you weigh without looking at your folder. There is no way we would EVER laugh. We respect that you are here and that you continue to come back week after week.) I am so ashamed. And embarrassed.

And so the hard part is .....coming back. PAINFUL. Now we have admitted that there is a problem. And we are doing something about it. Good for you. Now what? Let's start with using the tools of the program.

Then after several weeks of losing, I begin to lose less and less. Then I start to gain. PAINFUL. Now what? Re-assess the tools of the program. What needs to happen for you in order for you to make a good weight loss this week? YOU are the only one who can answer that question. Well, what is it?

For me, sometimes the painfullpart is making the decision that I know is the right one. MAAN! Do I want that chocolate chip cookie, or that order of french fries, or that greasy burger.... But here now is the PAINFUL discussion that happens in my head:

"Boy that (fill-in-the-blank) sure looks good."
"I bet it tastes good too."
"You have not had one of those in soo long. It would be ok."
"Yeah, but you know how you will feel in the morning."
"What?! I have points left over for the day. It would be ok."
"Alright. So it would taste good right now. And you might enjoy one or two bites. But after that you won't. You know it. Then how will you feel in the morning about it?"
"Well, I don't want to give up THAT many points for something that I won't thoroughly enjoy. I will have some regrets and possibly have the 'I-wonder-what-would-have-happened-ifs' blues in the morning. Yeah. I don't want to have to do that much thinking in the morning. Better not have that (whatever-it-was) right now.

JUST having this conversation is PAINFUL. Why would I want to relive it in the morning? So. I don't go there. And on the rare occassion that I do, I know that I have to be ok with my decisions from the night/day before. I made my bed, I have to sleep in it. (I made my sandwich, now I have to eat it.) hehehe

We do gain from our pains. We gain knowledge. We gain experience. We gain strength. We can courage. We gain esteem. We gain confidence. We gain ourselves back. RE-gain!!!!!!!!!

Today's diddy: "Nothing in God's world is done by mistake." --Don (We may not have the answers to WHY right now, but maybe we are not supposed to have those answers right now (or ever).

Holy Cow

This morning, I stepped on the scale and found out that I am less than one pound away from my 15% goal. (Note: when I lost my weight the first time, I did not step on the scale except for at my WW meeting.) As exciting as this is, I think that I have decided to continue with a bit more of a loss.

Part of me wants to be a bit less. Part of me just wants to have that "wiggle room" in which I can mess up occasionally.

Today has been a good eating day so far, but for some reason I feel really hungry. And I feel sort of wierd....like....I must be bloated, but don't feel that way. It is leftovers again for dinner tonight. I don't know what my husband took for his lunch, so it may end up that I cook. I would like to have chicken pasta side with sauteed mushrooms. However, I have soo many points still left to eat.

THis gives me a dilema. I don't want to over eat with something else. But I don't want to overeat either. mmmmmm.....what to do? Guess we'll have to wait and see what else is in the fridge.

Hope you are having a great week so far.

Today's diddy: "If id doesn't taste great, don't eat it." --Anonymous

I'm Almost There.....

I woke up this morning and was up in weight a skosh from yesterday. Most days I question why that is. I usually figure it out right away. Today, though, it did not even cross my mind to be curious about that. I was actually excited.

Remember I told you that I am having this little contest with my aide over who can get to their goal the fastest? Well, as of this morning, I am1.6 pounds away from mine. She is over 3 pounds away from hers. I will have this off in a day or two. I am not necessarily excited about winning. In fact, quite the opposite. I think it would be good for her to beat me, in more ways than one. To lose more weight in less time than a WW leader would be something to hang your coat on, right?

However, she is kind of a "sore winner" if you will. I don't want to win to gloat. or brag. or even to ever bring it up again. I want to win, just so I don't have to hear her talk about it alll the time....talk, sing, dance, whoop, you know.

She is doing a great job. I am proud of her. She looks great. And it sure is fun to have someone eating the same as me at work. Used to be that she very easily influenced me to have Taco Bell for lunch. Not anymore. Once she realized I was serious, it kind of kicked in for her.

Random thought:

I started a new 3 month journal this week. I really like the quotes in here. Some of them have been my inspiration for my blogs. Here is the one in week one, day 2: "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."

Do you ever feel like that? This is the third or fourth week in a row that you have been up or the same. Everyone seems to be working against you. The stress is mounting. The food is everywhere. All hope is slowly drifting away? You are thinking about quitting WW, because you just aren't "getting it"? Why try?

I will tell you. You are worth it. Before Ben Franklin discovered the lightbulb, he found 10,000 ways NOT to make a lightbulb work. (Or so it goes something like that.) It is too early in your weight-loss journey to give up now. We have only just begun. Look how much you have lost so far. Why would you quit now? So you can go home, gain more weight and have to lose more? Why not just stick it out right here, right now where you are and DO IT?

So much more can be accomplished with the support of others than alone. This IS the way to do it. WE are all here for you.

Random thought #2:
Let's talk about maintaining our weight. I think this is much harder than losing. Losing is easy compared to this. Why?! Have you ever played a balance game? Try not to sway from one side to the other too much. Just like weight loss. You don't want to continue to lose (at least not too much), but you definately don't want to gain anything.

How much of it is in our own heads? I don't know. I do know this.....when I was "maintaining", I was really just slowly gaining. That lead to a whole bunch of other issues. Right now I am on the downward slide still. I am approaching my original goal of losing 10% of my weight. However, I think that to have a nice healthy BMI, I would like to be 5-8 pounds less than that. So, for the timebeing, I am still a "loser", not a "maintainer". Once I get there, I will blog that journey.

Here is what went through my head: I can gain a bit, I am pretty far below my goal. I am not there yet, it is ok if I gain some more. My clothes fit ok, a couple of more pounds would be no big deal. Then I got to my goal. OK. as long as I can get back down before the next official weigh-in, I will be fine. Then it happened.....I was living for eating like crazy for two weeks so that I could take off the weight in orde to be in compliance for the next weigh-in. How crazy is that????!!!

I knew that I could do it. By do it, I mean lose the weight. So why play the games with myself and my job every month? Because I could. Did I like it? NOOOO!!! And it was stressful.

You know what ? I am much happier now, working the program the way it is supposed to be worked. I am in smaller size clothes. I get at least one compliment a day from someone. My husband has noticed (I don't know why he did not notice the last time I lost this weight, but.....) and I think he likes me more. Life is good. Work hard.

Today's diddy: " If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." --Author Unknown

Start with Yourself

The thought that has consumed my every thought lately is that I cannot control anyone or anything but me. (My son is reaking havoc on my life right now.) I know that we have influence over people whether on purpose or not. I know that EVERY person in my life as affected me in some way, big or small. Every person with whom I come in contact has a reason for being in my life. My kids. My husband. My parents. My siblings. My co-workers. My friends. You. People I see at the store. My church friends. The daycare workers. The parents of my students. Everyone.

You have had a bigger impact on my life, than I could possibly have on yours. For that, I THANK you.

Which leads me to my main thought. I know that every change I make (yes, I am still making changes) has to start with me. I am the one who makes it happen or not happen. I am the one in charge of my thoughts. And actions. And words.

By changing myself first, I then can have a better handle on how to help others or at least be a good role model. Now this applies to my WW world as well as to my kids. The kid thing is going to take some time and much more effort. The WW deal is simply doing as I am supposed to do. And as of this morning, I am down (drum roll, please) 12.8 pounds since mid-November. If I can do it, so can you.

We all have obstacles. Get a move on.

Today's diddy: "Temptations is sure to ring your doorbell. Just don't ask it to stay for dinner!" --Author Unknown

Love in Weight Loss

AAaaaand we're back.

Just wanted to let you know that the world woke up tonight at about 6:30pm. That means our modem arrived and we are back in service.

I will be back tomorrow with some thoughts. Tonight, though, I must go to sleep. Better sleep, better weight-loss, better skin, better feeling....

Love in Weight Loss.
Talk to you tomorrow.

Internet is Down

I won't be able to blog this week. My DSL modem shot craps Saturday night/Sunday morning. I should have a new one in 3-5 business days. Can you spell SUCK? (Sorry, but it does.)

I am currently "not on the clock" at work. But really, I should not be doing this from here. So, you may not hear from me all week.

I hope that you have a good week, and I will see you Saturday.

Love in Weight Loss,
Jenny

Today is a new day

I mentioned at the beginning of 2009 that I was going to make a point to do my daily reading, journaling (and exercising?) every day....not to play catch-up later. I have been doing it. There has been no letting up. I have been neglectful of this blog, but unfortunately, I don't have an epiphany everyday.

Because of the snow day today, I did my daily reading this morning in bed while the kids watched TV. I read a very powerful excerpt from a book titled Hope For Today. "...Coming to terms wtih my history and letting go of it....allows me to enjoy today and to move into the future....I (have to) give my self the chance to have a better day."

Although, not WW material, this really hit home for me, esp. since I have been arguing with myself about my 3/4 journal (you know--the one where I did not write down any of my dinners) and calculating the points for dinner, along with drinking my milk.

All of this almost happened just by accident. I did not mean to forget. I just did. I wrote down everything else. It did not even dawn on me that this was happening until I went back to reflect on what I did this week. I realized what happened BECAUSE of my reflection. Thank God I was writing it down (or not) so that I could figure this out.

Anyway, what .....lost my train of thought....had to go deal with very hyper children.

Today I measured, calculated and documented points for dinner. I still have one left. I know, right? What do you do with one point? Perhaps a glass of wine and some Weekly Points Allowance, but not before a workout.

I know that I can forgive myself for the mistakes I made yesterday and start over today, if I need to.

Today's diddy: "The difference between FAT and FIT is 'I'."--Author Unknown

"If it is to be, it is up to me"

This is so true. I am the only one who can make my lifestyle changes. I am the only one who can lose my weight. I am the only one who can control my thoughts and actions. I am the only one responsible for me.

The following poem is from a leader in Oklahoma:

Changing negatives to positives, that is the key

If I want to get healthy it's all up to me

The plan really works. It's been proven, you see

If I want to get healthy, it's all up to me

I'll set short-term goals, new behaviors I'll see

If I want to get healthy it's all up to me

It's never too late to set old habits free

If I want to get healthy it's all up to me

I'm fee to make choices I understand how

My life will be better starting right now

I'll reward my successes, confident I will be

My new healthy lifestyle shows me all I can be

I love being here for you. I also love being here for me. I hope that you will (if you don't already) feel the same way too.

I have to be the one who makes the decision. Have you made your decision? What are you willing to do to make weight-loss happen for you? What are you willing to commit to today? There is no waiting until tomorrow. Tomorrow will never come. The decision has to be made NOW. You are important NOW. Tomorrow may be too late. What ARE you waiting for?

There will always be a reunion, a wedding, a holiday, a gathering of some kind, someone in from out of town, something that "throws your week off". The decision has to be made to not let that happen. We have the tools. Let's use them.

I am willing to write down what I eat for dinner (some reason this one has been forgotten lately). I am willing to measure out and count up the points in what is made for dinner, EVEN if it means dinner gets on the table 10-15 minutes late. (This too, has been a downfall of mine this week.) I am willing to drink the correct amount of milk each day. (Some days I don't WANT to give up the points for milk, even though I KNOW I should.)

There. Now you have my commitment for the rest of the week. What about you?! What are you going to do?

I found all the answer (in our manual) to the question that needed to be answered. I hope that everyone stays tuned for some good information Saturday.

Stay warm. Be safe. Don't go out if you don't have to. Make a snow angel. Throw a snowball.

Expect a big crowd Saturday, the Tuesday meeting is being cancelled because of the weather.

Today's diddy: "Great works are performed not by strength, but by perserverance." --Samuel Jackson

What ARE you hungry for?

Sometimes I feel like we just don't have enough time in the meeting to cover everything that needs be covered. I hope that what we do talk about is helpful for YOU. I also hope that you don't feel slighted at all, because of this. I try to allow for freedoms without straying too much for those who want to hear the message.

JUST one of the many things I love about this job is that people come up to me after the meeting to talk. I love being there for you. I hope that it helps. Today one very "on track" woman came up to me after the meeting to tell me a very powerful story. (So don't get mad if I repeat this next week, OK?)

A very caring woman was working with a group of overweight teenagers. These were not just "average" overweight teens, they were hundreds of pounds overweight. (Side note: I cannot relate with being THAT overweight, because I have not been there. However, I CAN relate to being so overweight that I was depressed. I was disgusted with myself. I had low self-esteem. I was just not happy. You know what I am talking about, right?!)

At the beginning of this very powerful, moving journey that this woman spent with the teens, she asked in her most caring voice, "What are you hungry FOR?" Make sure to put emphasis on the 'for'. Think about this.

This is kind of what we were talking about today. Is it really food? Or is it companionship? is it the "feel good" feeling? is it happiness? is it comfort? is it dreamy (you know as if you are someone else somewhere else)? Perhaps it is another feeling or emotion you are wanting to feed.

Is food the answer?

WOW!!!!! THAT is some powerful stuff right there. That is so powerful, it could leave a mark.

I will let you ponder that for a bit as I need to do some additional research on the points question from this morning. I have part of my answer from my manager, but need to find the rest of the answer in our manual. I will have good stuff to share with you Saturday. I hope you are there. We could all use some good information.

In the meantime, today's diddy is:
"What are you willing to do this week in order to lose weight? DO IT!!" --Dorothy Young, Receptionist

Apply Past Knowledge

Isn't this what life and WW is all about? If we don't learn from our mistakes, we don't learn. Remember when you were trying to teach your child a life lesson or just something simple. I suppose to the really young ones, something simple IS a life lesson. You know, like don't put your hand in the hinge side of the door while closing it...your fingers will get smashed. Or, pull your pants down all the way before you go potty.....or your pants will get weeeee'd on. (boy or girl) Or, tie your shoes all the way....you may trip. How about: use your words instead of your fists.....you'll get a lot more accomplished.

At our house we call them learning opportunities or learning experience.

What do we learn in WW from which we can learn?

• I learned that I do better on each day when I take my vitamin.
• I learned that if I don't track what I eat, I will OVEReat.
• I learned that exercising makes me feel good.
• I learned that I HAVE to be held accountable with someone else.
• I learned that Measuring out my food and weighing it helps me keep my portions the right size.
• I learned that when I do weigh my food, I generally get more food for the points.
• I learned that I have support at my WW meeting.
• I learned that there are people I can call if I need to who understand how I am feeling and what I am going through.
• I learned that it is easier for me to do the right thing when I ask for help from those around me.

And all of these things, I have learned from making mistakes. Some were easy to spot, others I needed someone to point them out. Some were easy to fix, some not-so-much.

Let's all try a little harder to keep our fingers out of the doorway, so we don't get pee'd on.

Today's diddy: "I've never made a mistake. I've only learned from experience." --Thomas Edison

Slacking....or just out of things to say?

I am not sure what is happening to me lately. I know. I used to blog daily. Not so much anymore it seems like, huh?

Saturday we were really busy putting together new electronic equipment. For whatever reason, this took the better part of 5 hours. I had to meet with a friend later and still be a (step-) mom to everyone in the house until then. Sunday we had church, groceries, cleaning and dinner at my mom's.

You know what is fabulous? My mom and her husband made a dinner and actually took my WW program into account. I did not realize that I spoke this much about it to them. Maybe I don't. Maybe I just work it and they "see" it. I did not gorge on as many cookies this Christmas as I had in the past. Maybe they saw that.

Anyway, we had pork steaks, mashed potatoes, corn and gravy. I know, right? Fat, starch and starch. What a meal. And how do I think that they took me into consideration? Well, my mother's husband asked if my son needed a smaller plate. I said, "He doesn't, but I do." I was accommodated. It was nice. I ate only what I "needed"....less than one steak, 1 spoonful of potatoes, and one also of corn. No seconds. The best part is: no one balked at me and my plate size.

Dessert: Sugar-free jello with strawberries and whipcream. YUM.

Then, I got to educate my (nurse) mom on diet. I know that she knows this stuff, but I suppose we forget when we don't use it regularly. Her and her husband are trying to lose weight. Of course, he is doing better than she. Isn't that the way it always goes. Guys before gals.

She is frustrated because she had a big bagel with cream cheese and an orange for mid-morning breakfast so she did not eat lunch. What is wrong with this picture? No lunch. Big bagel. Cream cheese. Gee, mom. Let's look at this again.

I want her to do well. I think it would be worth her while to make it to a WW meeting. I'm not sure she would ever listen to me when I say that. She really likes to eat when she wants, what she wants and how she wants.

Today has been a good day so far. Lunch was fun. I had what felt like to me a HUUUUUGE bowl of fruit for zero points. I weighed out each individually, each equalling zero. YUM. Naturally, I supplemented with a sugar-free chocolate pudding. Later, the kids want me to make smoothies. 2 plastic (Solo) cups for 2 points total. More YUM.

This coming Saturday we will be finishing our fourth week of the year. How are you doing with your goals? Are you making it? What major change have you made in order to make that happen? Are you being consistent? Are you being faithful to yourself? Are you taking time for you?

Re-evaluate your progress every 3-4 weeks. Check that you are on track, making progress.

I will tell you that I am getting ready to complete my 4th goal of my new journey. I know that it will happen this week, along with consistantly staying at my 10 pound loss. (You know how one day it is here, and the next it is gone, but then returns a day or two later.)

Today's diddy: "Nothing is impossible to a willing heart. " --John Heywood.

Just a simple poem...

The Bottom Line

by Anonymous

Face it.

Nobody owes you a living.

What you achieve or fail to achieve in your lifetime

is directly related to what you do

or fail to do.

No one chooses his parents or childhood

but you can choose your own direction.

Everyone has problems and obstacles to overcome

but that too is relative to each individual.

Nothing is carved in stone.

You can change anything in your life

if you want to badly enough.

Excuses are for losers.

Those who take responsibility for their actions

are the real winners in life.

Winners meet life's challenges head on

knowing there are no guarantees

and give it all they've got.

It's never too late or too early to begin.

Time plays no favorites

and will pass whether you act or not.

Take control of your life.

Dare to dream and take risks.

If you aren't willing to work for your goals,

don't expect others to.

Believe in yourself.

I thought this was motivational enough to be THE blog and the diddy. I hope that you get as much out of it as I did. Love you.

Relay For Life

I would like to get a group together to participate in Relay For Life. There are two to choose from. May 1-2 or May 8-9. May 1 is in Festus at the high school track. The other is at the high school track in the Northwest R1 school district.

Free to sign up. Booths and things to pay for along the way. It is all to raise money. Stay as late as you want. Party ends at 6am. Plenty of things to do for the whole family.

Think about it and we will talk.

I might be back later, so I am not giving you a diddy yet.

See the light.

Hope you are having a good day. I am. I can feel myself getting hungry. I would like to eat, but I still have students in the room for a few more minutes. No worries, I will be ok.

Today I would like to talk about using the tools of the program. There are sooo many out there. Of course, you are reading one. There are the weekly meetings. My favorites: measuring spoons, electronic scale, points calculator, tracker. Etools. WW magazine. Weightwatchers.com. Cookbooks. Portion control. Exercise videos. Pedometers. Your before and after pictures. Stepping on the scale. And countless others.

What are your favorites? What do you use regularly? Which would you recommend to friends? Which do you avoid, why?

If we use all of the tools of the program, or at least the ones we know will benefit us, why should we not succeed? We will. That's it. We carry with us everyday all of the things we need to be successful. We therefore, should be successful. Only when we decide to go it alone or chuck the tools we need, are we going to have a hard time with the program.

We need to stay faithful. Carry the tools with you. Make yourself a notecard to carry that reminds you of something you have a hard time with. Put a post-it note somewhere visible. Have it read a positive thing that will help you. Carry an anchor in your pocket....like that rock I gave you, or your before photo (wallet size) or whatever.....your Making it Mine in 2009 pencil.

The program is harder, like walking in the dark, without the tools.

Today's diddy: "He who carries his own lantern, need not worry in darkness." Hasilu (?) saying. (Sorry, I left my book at home with the quote in it.)

Fluke, coincidence or pattern

I did not see this happen a lot this last Saturday, but I know that I have heard it a ton in the past. I guess, I just don't understand. I get being excited about a weight-loss. I get being disappointed when you did everything right and had a loss or stayed the same. Here is what I don't understand:

Jenny enthusiastically asks, "How are you?"
General response, before or while stepping on the scale, "I don't know, we' ll find out."

Now wait just a minute. I asked you how you were doing on that question, not "how was your week." You know that you should not let your mood be determined by what the scale reads, right? I mean, let's get real here people. We know before we step on (myself included) if we had a "bad week or not." And truly it is not about if we had a bad week, it is about if we made good choices or not. We choose to be good or be bad.

I have to be responsible for my own happiness. I can take what happens at the scale after I weigh in and learn from it, or make an excuse about it. Learning helps me to lose weight in the future. Making an excuse gives me a reason to be bad one more week.

I have to choose to be good. Even if it hurts my "feelings". Naturally, sometimes I would love to have the juicy, greasy burger and fries over the healthy, colorful salad with chicken. But I KNOW how I am going to feel. More importantly, I know what I am going to have to admit to myself later.

First mistake might be a fluke. Second mistake could be a coincidence. Third mistake is a pattern. When I know that I am about to make a bad choice, I have to remember that I have decided to change my attitude (and my body, for my health), my expectations and my responses.

When I get to that place of I know that what I am doing is the right thing for me, I can make better choices for me and my family. My attitude is get healthy, stay healthy. My expectations are to supply myself with the necessary food choices so that I can keep this attitude. (If I allow junk food in the house I know what is going to happen....I am going to eat it until it is gone, and usually no one else in the house helps.) My responses are obviously good ones. I eat the right things. I stay away from the sugary foods. We don't have cakes, pies, cookies in the house. If someone brings it over as a guest, it also leaves with them. That cake may visit my house, but may not reside there.

I clearly thought in the past that I could continue to make choices that I had convinced myself were only happening every once in awhile. When in reality I was making those choices on regular basis (more than twice a day). This was a REAL pattern for me.

Do you have a pattern that you would like to stop? Here are some tips:

• First, identify the pattern. Name it.
• Second, recognize that this is a problem in your life. Claim it.
• Third, ask yourself what you need to do to get rid of it. Tame it.

And now you are on your way to eliminating one bad behavior. Good luck. I love you.

Today's diddy: "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." --Eleanor Roosevelt.

I am still here

I have a lot to say. But not now. I am headed to bed, and it is late. I will be on tomorrow though. I got caught up this weekend on my household chores. I feel better about that, but I do miss being here to type. I ran across something else in my nightly readings which really got me thinking. I have to have the book in front of me without any distractions in order to make it good. So, I will get back with you tomorrow sometime.

I hope it is worth the wait.

By the way, (in case you did not notice) I was 100% pumped up with the number of people at the meeting Saturday. I found out after you left that we had 47 people walk through the door, and of those 46 stayed for the meeting. We missed you, even though you had to go to work. Isn't that incredible? I love that!!!!!

Keep comin' back. It works, when you work it.

Every week I get so excited about the weight loss (esp. for the 3 month journal holder) and about seeing so many of you continue to come. I think it is great. We are going to make so many fabulous things happen this year.

Today's diddy: "Don't exchange what youwant most for what you want at the moment." --Lynn Greenling, Leader.

Track. Count. Measure. Together.

I am feeling good. Are you?! Today is a good day. I had a plan yesterday and I stuck to it. Down again. I am working my plan for today also. So far, so good. I even had biscuits and gravy for breakfast this morning. I skipped my normal lunch time since I was not yet hungry, but will have to eat soon. I can feel it.

This is going to be so much fun. I already know what I am having for dinner. Planned that out yesterday. This evening I will be sitting down with my children to enjoy some popcorn. Yum.

I had to do one of those dreadful middle-of-the-week grocery shops yesterday. On my way there, I got to thinking (gosh I do a lot of that thinking stuff lately. hurtful). Losing weight is a LOT easier than maintaining it. Anyone out there know what I mean???!!

How many times have we "gone off the wagon", because we thought we "had a handle" on it? Twice for me, unless you count the one while I was working for WW. Ok. I'll say it out loud THREE TIMES FOR ME. There, happy?

Getting a handle on it is the hard part. We get comfortable. We think we don't have to measure anymore, because we "already know" how much that amount should look like. We think we don't have to track our points anymore, because we have "eaten the same things for months/years". We think we can have an oops day(s). And when they are dayS, we think that we can "make up for that later this week with a hard workout (which may-or may not ever come).

Why does this happen?

What needs to happen after we lose the weight so that it does not come back? TRACK IT. COUNT IT. MEASURE IT. Whatever it is that is going to keep you accountable. We can't get relaxed with this once we meet our goal. Why? We end up having to lose it all again. That is no fun. Why not just keep it off to begin with?

Because it is not easy. Simple program, difficult to do. I know. I get it. That is why I am here also. So, let's do it together. You and me together, partners. Lifetimers.....plug in here with thoughts. We would LOVE to hear them.

This is a fun journey. Not to be stressful.

Today's diddy: "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." --Les Brown

Blog less, Workout More.

Tonight is the night for the extra long workout. See you Saturday. (Well, I might be back tomorrow.)

Speaking of tomorrow, I have NO plans to cancel Saturday's meeting because of the weather. If Gail and Kellie cannot make it, I will be there to at least weigh you in. I can't do both the meeting and weigh you in. So....let's see what happens.

Love ya.

Today's diddy: "Choice, not chance, determines destiny." (Why I am working out longer today and having a shorter blog.) --Author Unkown

From the Heart

I told you that I was going to start getting serious about some things. One of which is my nightly readings. Last night I read about asking for help. And asking for help from someone special....a close friend, a caring family member, a fellow WW member, whomever.

I have a special friend like that. She helps me reason things out in all aspects of my life. She also happens to be a WW member. This helps, but this is not our main focus when we get together weekly to talk. I know that I need her, and that life would be harder without her. She knows first hand of the troubles that I have been through in life.

What I read last night is that even though I have her help (like you have ours/mine), it is my reponsibility to solve my own problems (with the help of God).

I have had many problems in WW. Let's start with becoming overweight. That was the obvious problem. DER. It is out there for everyone to see. For a long time, though, I could not see it. In my mind I was thin and beautiful. I was in a "big, fat state of denial", as they say. (Pun fully intended.) I thought that I had control over things. I thought that if no one saw me eat, it was not going to become fat on my body. I thought I could have just one bite and that was enough. I thought I could fit into and feel ok in my "skinny" jeans when I had soooo much to loose still. I thought I could eat whatever I wanted. I thought I could have fast food multiple times a week and multiple times a day sometimes. And I thought I could do all of it alone. I thought I, "if I wanted to, I could lose the weight. I have done it before. I just don't want to right now." (Remember at this time, I am still thinking that I am thin and beautiful.)

I finally came to an abrupt realization that I was overweight. My mother's husband, you have heard me talk about him. Lost weight. Had struggles. Got pregnant. Gained a LOT of weight. Had baby. Came back.

I must have been at WW for 6-8 months when I started to approach my goal. There was an opening for a receptionist, and I grabbed at it. I was within a few pounds of my goal, and hired. This motivated me to get all the way there. Receptionist position worked out fine for me. The position kept me in check for a while.....

Then the denial was back. REMEMBER: THIS is about ME. It is NOT meant to OFFEND anyone.

Well, I had a holiday to celebrate. Teacher work-days at the beginning of the year are hard, because everyone goes out to eat. One of the kids had a birthday. My Dad had people over. Kevin had an episode. I treated the kids to McDonald's because they had good days at school. I am retaining water. I had Chinese last night. I used all of my flex points yesterday. I am on medication. I just had surgery.

I simply could not escape my own excuses. They sure did sound good at the time, though. Whatever it took to justify why I was not doing what I should be doing. I wanted someone to tell me it was ok to screw up. Funny thing is, people did.

The truth of the matter is, I knew all along that none of these excuses were doing me any good. Sure the food tasted good, or at least the first few bites did. But other than that, what did I have to show for it? I was above my goal for way too long considering I work for a weight-loss compamny. My clothes did NOT fit.....I could not sit comfortably in ANY pants, I could not WAIT to unsnap (and sometimes unzip) in the car on the way home from work and the seams were ripping in some of my pants. I did not feel pretty. I could not stand to look at myself after a shower. I definately did not want my husband to look at me like that. "That" aspect of my life was hard too, because of the way I felt about myself.

At some points, I felt like I was on this Merry-Go-Round. I felt bad. I ate. I had guilt. I ate. I felt bad. I ate. I had guilt. I ate. I don't think I was ever happy with the way I felt.

What I know now is this:

• I make my own decisions. Those decisions WILL effect my attitude tomorrow as well as what the scale reads in the morning. I have to be ok with my decisions. I have to weigh my options while making each decision---will I be ok about this tomorrow? Will I have remorse/guilt/sadness/anger about this tomorrow?

• I also know that when I make a mistake there is a reason. Not an excuse. If I mess up, it is because I made a bad choice about something. I chose to eat more points than I should have. I chose not to exercise. I chose to not write it down 2 days this week. I made those choices. They did not happen by accident. They happened on purpose. I need to own up to it, and not make excues. The reason why I gain weight is because I chose to screw up this week. It is my own fault.

• I know that what happens in my life, in my weight-loss, in my career is my responsibility. (Sometimes, I need God's help to remember that, or my good friend.) Granted, I cannot control everything....I learned that one a LOOOONG time ago. But HOW I react is completely up to me. That is my responsibility. I don't have to eat, just because something good or something bad happened to me. I can choose not to do that.

Don't get me wrong, I am not being hard on myself. I did my reading last night, and this stuff just came to me. I need to own up. Be a (wo-)man.

• Now that I know what my weaknesses are, I know what I need to do to avoid those.
• I know how to control myself or take myself out of a situation if I cannot.
• I know how to say, "no thank you."
• I know that I have support.
• I know that I have to go to work Saturday morning and stand in front of a great crowd of people and facilitate a weight-loss meeting.
• I know.....I can't do it alone.

Today's diddy: "We cannot climb a rope that is attached only to our own belt." --William Ernest Hocking

Do something for yourself

I just read the comments from the last post. I appreciate that. I, like Tracey, have set some guidelines for myself. I decided Sunday night that since this was a new year, I should also make some goals for myself, besides my weight-loss ones. (As if that is not enough)

Since the kids are in bed by 7 pm, this gives me time to do a short workout. Half hour. Followed by taking care of myself--a few (not sweaty) crunches, a facial, make a flip chart if needed and do some reading. I have gotten away from the reading for a while. I need to get back to that. I don't have the time schedule set, but I do want to try to be in bed with my books by 8:30, 8:45 at the latest. This gives me time to settle down before I actually need to fall asleep.

I knew this was something I needed to do for myself. I found that I was not getting the right number of sleep for my body. Do you know that your body NEEDS sleep in order stay healthy? It is an important part of weight-loss too.

I hope that you find what is important to you, and make a plan to have that happen for yourself. You need to advocate for YOU every once in awhile. YOU are important. YOU matter. YOU have value. YOU are needed.

Remember that you have to take care of yourself first, before you can care for anyone else. That is why you have to grab your oxygen mask first, then take care of the ones next to you on the plane.

Today's diddy: "We always have time for the things we put first." --Author Unknown

Had to ramble for a bit...sorry.

Another GREAT meeting Saturday. I don't know about you, but I always leave there motivated to succeed. You guys just pump me up. We also had 5 new friends added to our group. Isn't that exciting? I can't remember the last time that I had that many people at a Getting Started Session. How much fun is that?

I know that you are on the road to doing great things with whatever your goal is for 2009. I hope that you have by now, choosen one thing (remember your assignment for the week?) to change in your lifestyle to allow for that goal to happen. Make the committment to make that happen by Saturday. I know that you can.

I would really like the chance to get to know some of you better. I never see some of you at the scale any more. I hope that you are not avoiding me. I want to be there to support you, cheer you, and help you when you need it. I don't know if you are losing or gaining...losing, I hope. Every once in a while, switch scales or make a point to visit me.

Christmas break for me over tomorrow. No saddness though. My weight has been down, then up, then down again for this little vacation. So, what I have been wondering the last couple of days is this...will I do better back at work or not? I had a few days when I did not go downstairs (where the kitchen and food are) some days until anywhere between 10 am and noon. Lunch time. Dinner is usually around 4-5 pm. And I don't usually eat after that. So, weight-loss was easy on those days, especially if we did not have anywhere to go.

On workdays, LUNCH is still between 10 am and noon, but I have also worked half the day. Why does this worry me? I have done this before. It is not hard. I will let you know if/when I come up with an answer to that question. I suppose I am not really worried about eating at work. I may be more worried about the "bet" with my aide. I was hoping to be down JUUUUst a bit more than I am right now for our first weigh-in of the year.

Mind you, I am very competitive. Maybe it is the loss of control thing...I have no idea where I stand with her, how she has been doing, whatever,.... Maybe it is the stigma of being a WW leader and being in competition with a NON-WW person. OMG!! What will they think if I lose? Who is THEY anyway, and why do I care so much? Who knows? I suppose that I will have to get over it FAST.

I know what happened the last time I was in a competition like this....I LOST. Yikes, did I ever lose. NOT good.

Ok. That is over. I don't have to lose. Nor do I have to worry about her winning, right? I mean if this helps her to lose the weight she wants to, then good for her. I will lose the weight I want to, it just might not be before her. That is ok. I don't really have a date in mind for my goal. I just have the goal. (Although, by summer would be fun.)

Well, maybe I should have a goal date. That would give me reason to be motivated. So, how do you pick a date? I won't be in a wedding, I won't be getting family pictures anytime soon, I am not in a beauty pagent, mmmmmmm. How do I do this? Any ideas?

Mother's day.

James' kindergarten graduation is right after that. We have 2 birthday parties at the end of the month. Swimsuit season is right around the corner. It may be giving myself too far ahead, though. I only have about 8-10 to lose to be where I want to be. I will have to think about this for a while.

Today's diddy: "Not to decide....is to decide." --Author Unknown

Small portions. Make a Journal. A-HA.

Ok. So yesterday I was watching an episode of The Early Show and I caught a glimse of this article hosted by a nutrition professor at the University of Eastern Illinois. It was one of those a-ha moments. He professes that anyone can lose weight with an exercise routine and smaller portion sizes. One could even go to fast food daily and lose weight.

A-HA. Weight Watchers. Isn't this what we do, ladies (and gentleman)? Portion control. Can't we eat "whatever we want"? Count the points, use Filling Foods.

This was the experiment that the man did to prove his point. (Excuse me for a moment if you saw this already.) He took two separate groups. Each group was told that they could help themselves to the ice cream buffet he provided. Have whatever kind of ice cream you want, use any or all of the toppings, have seconds if you want. He told the second, yet separate group the same thing. The first group was given a LARGE scooper, LARGE bowls and LARGE spoon with which to eat. Many had seconds. Each filled their bowl to the brim. And most importantly, everyone in the group felt satisifed when they were finished.

The second group was given a SMALL scoop, SMALL bowls, and the LITTLE sampler-type spoon with which to eat. Very few had seconds. Each filled their bowl to the brim. And most importantly, everyone in the group felt satisified when they were finished.

When the groups were brought back together and told of the differences, the comments were just as I had expected them to be (yet they were surprised for some reason). When you eat with smaller tools, you eat less. It takes some time to feel satisifed. By the time you are finished taking ALL OF THOSE small bites in order to finish your food, you are satisified. When you eat with larger tools, it takes less time to eat. You don't know that you are satisifed yet, because it has not registered.

It does not take much to fill you up, or make you feel satisfied. Take your time. Think small. Think big goals with small tools. Think portion control. Think writing it down. Even people who lose weight without weight watchers start with a daily journal. It is amazing how much we eat that we don't realize. Once we start writing it down, it becomes real.

Today's diddy: " What's important is not necessarily where you are, but inwhat direction you are going." --Oliver Wendel Holmes.
What is the lesson?